The One Flesh

The acting out of the one flesh is how marriage is consummated. To offer this power to another who is not one's spouse is to cheapen it. It is one of the most perfect forms of loving expression available to human beings. Because it is so revered, its abuse becomes all the more tragic. The greater the gift, the more severe becomes its corruption. Often people decide to live together and to share sexual relations because they do not feel presently called to marriage. Or, they would seek a trial period first. In reference to the first reason, we could resort to the old cliche against putting the carriage before the horse. In the early days of the Church, all a couple had to do was promise their fidelity before God and set up house. It was only in response to the confusion that such unrecorded unions caused and the inner need of people to instigate their marriages in a public fashion, that the Church legislated weddings to be henceforth witnessed by a priest or deacon in the context of the believing community. Along with this also came the complementary paperwork.

Consequently, at least externally, these couples today, although not married in the eyes of the Church or God, are often living something analogous to it. However, those who are not ready for marriage are not ready for living together either. Implied in this understanding and in the notion of trial set-ups, is that if it does not work out, the two will split up, no worse for wear. Few of these relations ever dissolve with such complacency. Already built into their relationship is the real doubt that it can last. If they ultimately get married, this same reservation might merely be translated from one state of life to another.

Within the context of marriage, genital union is an avenue for greater mutual fidelity. This is not really the case in non-ratified unions where they have no explicit protection of permanence. In addition, sexual intercourse must always be open to new life. In living-together relationships, this stress upon the propagation of children is almost always weak or non-existent. It is safe to say that the majority of them are practicing artificial contraception with impunity and may have even opted for abortion. If a child is conceived and spared, it faces the stigma of illegitimacy and a family solidarity which is no where near ideal. Resultantly, the two goods of marriage, fides (fidelity) and proles (procreation) are not served by couples who practice illicit sex.