Person to Person

Love wants the entire person -- body, heart, mind, and soul. The Jewish philosopher Martin Buber would speak of the "I-Thou" relationship in reference to ourselves and the divine as in opposition to the "I-It". The first speaks of love, the second merely of utility (lust). It is the same for human relationships. It is all too easy to depersonalize others as a means to our own selfish advantage and satisfaction. It is quite something else to surrender ourselves to another. Christ reveals the depths of this kind of love on the Cross, where he surrenders himself as a gift for his bride, the Church. For this reason, marriage is not a 50/50 proposition. It demands a hundred percent giving from both parties. The only problem arises when one gives and the other simply takes, holding back. It is then that true suffering replaces the joy which ought to be there.

In all the little romantic and yet chaste expressions of love, as well as in the loving of a husband and wife in sexual union, the needs of the other need to be center stage. The understanding of the other as irreplaceable and precious must always be held. Any act of love is then not simply the interaction of two animals in heat but two persons sharing their most intimate selves and identity.